By Priscila Camargo Reis, VRG intern from Brazil
Being a teenager is not easy. Neither is dealing with one. And when one of the kids simply comes out to their parents and says: “Ok, now I’m a vegetarian!” that might cause some earthquakes inside and/or outside the parents, and make the relationships in the family harder.
In the past it was more difficult. Now, it is such a common event, and most people have already heard about veganism/vegetarianism or even know a vegan person. Information is more available, so parents can be calm and support their children.
In my case, for instance, I became a vegetarian in 1999, when I was a teenager. For environmental and animal reasons, I just sat down to have lunch and announced that from that day on I would never eat meat again. Maybe my mother thought it was only a phase. She got worried, because, at that time, I was a terrible eater, and was not used to having any sort of plant source, but beans and tomatoes. However, on that day I served myself a salad (thank God I liked it) and my mother started to search for vegetarian meals and instructions on how to make them. So, actually, I became a better eater. But every time I got sick, she accused the vegetarianism of being the reason of my illness. And I remember, now, how nasty I was, teasing her because of her carnivorous meal. That is in the past now. Many years later, whilst I am not living with her anymore, my mother joined the vegetarian diet.
I believe there are so many other options to making the transition to this diet:
- Jazz Miles, an eighteen-year-old vegetarian, born and raised into a vegetarian family, advises teenagers to make it fun. “Maybe take your parents out to a vegan/vegetarian restaurant to tell them the news. Or cook a vegan/vegetarian recipe for them to show them the versatility of veganism and vegetarianism.”
- Amy Burger, a vegan adult, who became a vegetarian when she was thirteen, had no problems when she announced to her parents she wanted to be a vegetarian. And she agrees with Jazz about tips to deal with parents when you decide to follow vegetarianism: “I think showing a willingness to cook for yourself or make meals for your family is a good idea. I enjoy cooking, so I have been able to share a lot of new and tasty recipes!”
- It might be helpful to explain to others your reasons in a way that is personal to them and ask them for their support, says Marcia Schveibinz, who became vegan in adult life and has two vegan children.
- Another good tip they can follow, according to Nadely Requena- who became a vegetarian when she was sixteen and passed through some dramatic situations in her family due to their meat based culture – is to do it slowly. Individuals can begin slowly by cutting out meat and seafood and then become vegetarian. During that transition, start to tell family and friends. She also advises: “Definitely tell your parents and don’t be quiet or secretive about it. Have an open conversation (if you can) about what vegetarian and vegan is, why you’re doing it, how things will be from now on, and if and what they can do to help you.” She is one more person who believes that finding recipes and trying new things as a family could be a potential idea. And yeah, definitely, learn to cook.
Enchanting people by food is a great way to make friends. And this is a very good way to show your parents they don’t need to worry about learning how to cook new recipes for you. If you are a newbie vegetarian teenager, you can make vegetarian friends and introduce them to your parents, as well as talk about what they eat. You can share scientific articles about the benefits of vegetarian diet (to human beings and to the planet), and show you are taking action to ensure you are really having good nutrition for your health. When you feel confident enough in the kitchen, you can choose a day in the week to cook for your family. Ask them if they would be happy with that option. As much as the meal looks like the meal they are used to having, the better it will be.
However, it is important to be aware of at least two points:
- Don’t depend on the approval of your parents (or anyone else) to keep your decision, if the cause is really important to you.
- Respect and enjoy the process!!! Don’t expect to become a chef in a week. Cook because you want to eat. It is totally normal if the first attempts fail. Keep going. You are either perfect or you are always improving, developing, and learning. You can’t be both. Perfection doesn’t exist.
Finally, don’t try to force or induce your parents to join vegetarianism. Nobody likes to be coerced. Being annoying moves people away. Remember how you would like to be treated. Be happy. If you show how vegetarianism/veganism makes you happier, it will be the best marketing tool ever.
For more teen tips, see https://www.vrg.org/teen/#family